despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
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