Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
Randomize