"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
Somedays I wish I were a bird. Then people wouldn't be so grossed out when I vomit
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
Randomize
