she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
Randomize
