I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
Randomize
