I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
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