Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize
