Someone shit on the floor
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
And I swear to god I'll divorce you if you so much as say a single sentence in Yoda talk in our bedroom. I may be a nerd but that's just fucking creepy
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
Randomize
