i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
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