i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
Randomize
