i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
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