i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
Well the nurse forgot to take all my stitches out, so my surgical tools are peroxide, kitchen scissors, fingernail clippers, a pocket knife, and 11 beers. Let's do this...
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
Randomize
