Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
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