we're blogging at a bar
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
At a bar in the city and the whole place starting singing “Happy Birthday” to someone. Everyone but me. The person next to me leaned over and said, “Why didn’t you sing along?!?” I responded, “I don’t know him. I don’t give a shit if he has a happy birthday.”
Randomize
