I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
I was dreaming of a parallel reality and in the dream I just looked up at my present self and was like "you're high, man"
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
Randomize
