We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
The number of injuries I get impersonating Shakira while drunk is getting ridiculous. Sprained vagina, dude.
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Randomize
