Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know I love you more than life itself, but love has its limits. And so help me god, if you bail on me, I will fucking watch the last Game of Thrones episode without you.
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
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