I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
at one point last night, you were literally auctioning me off. "reeeally drunk hot girl ! we'll start the bidding at an ice cold corona. oh, we have a bidder! do i hear a shot of whiskey? going once, going twice.."
youre welcome
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
Randomize
