who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
Randomize
