cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
Randomize
