I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
Randomize
