She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
