From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
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