Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
Randomize
