it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
As shirtless as possible
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
Randomize
