i just google imaged poop.
You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
Broken heels while double fisting margaritas, picking up shirtless, bloody men and escorting them out of harms way, the meltdown when I realized I can go without a bra bc my boobs shrunk, the morning vodka red bull you were forced to drink? Which one roped you in?
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
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