ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
Randomize
