You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
Woke up in a pile of people on the floor. His dad was already up and ask me to help him cook bacon because "7 lbs can be a mother fucker"
I either need to get adopted or have someone's baby, but I'm joining that family
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
Randomize
