K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
Randomize
