Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
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