They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
Apparently last night I sat at the bar with an upside down sharpie lightning bolt on my forehead, yelling "It's Harry Potter's birthday! Let me be on the qudditch team!" And I kept calling the bartender Dobby. There are videos.
My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
Randomize
