No seriously, I have to sell the house because my wife found out I'm gay.
Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
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