Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
Why did I call the Oregon Department of Transportation at 4:30 in the morning, and who did I talk to for three minutes?
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
Randomize
