I woke up, mistook him for my ex, and started screaming. It was all that chest hair. I don't think this relationship is going anywhere.
she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
Randomize
