he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
Boobs speak an international language.
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
Randomize
