CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
I wear drunk well.
Randomize
