you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
It's not a walk of shame if you run
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
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