hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
I think your dad took our porno
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
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