Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
Randomize
