I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
Randomize