you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Randomize
