Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
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