I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
I am spending my child support on dildos
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
Somehow ended up home, probably had something to do with the makeshift ladder from my second story window. Now headed to church, still drunk, and still fighting back the vomit of a thousand different alcohols. Successful night.
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
I currently don't understand fingers.
PANTIES FOUND
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