That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
Randomize
