Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
Randomize
