I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
Randomize
