She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
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Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
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