So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
dream priorities were more important than voting today. don't tell me you wouldn't keep going back to sleep to find out who would win a fight between oprah and godzilla
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
Randomize
