Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
Randomize
