doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
So it took me 20 minutes to figure out that this is the wrong blind date. I'm going to go with it, he's cute and at least it's free beer.
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
Randomize
