can't come. weird drunk guy passed out on couch. long story, tell u later.
wtf. wake him up, call him a cab, get over here!
i just want to make sure he doesn't die. or rob me. plus it's facinating, he's faceplant on the arm of my sofa.
two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
Randomize
