Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
The Russian stripper asked if I like foreign girls. I told her I absolutely fucking hate accents. Most awkward 7 minutes ever
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
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