I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
Randomize
