I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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