I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
Randomize
