So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
Here's a tip: do NOT chant "MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS." during sex because the Packers won against the Giants.
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
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