TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
Is this like a preordered booty call?
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
MASS TEXT: Next weekend I will be in town for St. Patty's day. There will be a bonfire and liqour olympics. We will have booze but in order to participate it is byob. Upon arrival everyone will be asked to sign a waiver. I am not responsible for liver failure, death, loss of clothing or memory, bites, scratches, hickies, pregnancies, or any other for of injury you may obtain while participating. There will be ridiculous amounts of green glitter, be prepared to puke it up. ALSO WEAR SOMETHING GREEN OR YOU WILL BE PENALIZED!! AUTOMATIC 5 SHOTS. HAPPY GAMING!!!
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