she woke up with a sticky ear
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
