I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
Randomize
