Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
I don't know what part of my sober brain thought it was a good idea to get stoned when I can barely walk with crutches as it is, but that part is stupid.
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
Randomize
