Absence makes the cock grow harder.
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
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