No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
Randomize
