Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
It is 3am. I'm at a pizzeria with my 4 friends. The one to my right is throwing up on herself, the one to my left is crying hysterically by herself, the one in front of me is passed out on the table, and the other is trying to find a taxi and I'm pretty sure a guy is sticking his hand up her skirt. Tourists are taking pictures. Help me.
Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
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