Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
I want to be your penis for a week.
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
Randomize
