i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
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